Thursday, December 14, 2006

Don't say anything that will make it worse

There is usually a strangeness present in my dreams. No matter how normal they would first seem, but agues it just comes with the territory more or less. I was going to write about a dream I saw last night, but then realized it had washed away from my head during the tasks of the day. Buggers.

So I might write about another dream I saw once, not that long ago. It stuck to my brain like a fever, that dream. It was one of those very vivid ones, that had qualities similar to real life. Tastes, odours, the very feeling of objects and things.
In this dream I was made a vampire (uu what a surprise there!) but I didn't know who was the one who had done it to me, nor was I yet a full vampire. I had a protecttor of sorts though, a strange and ancient being I only called The Celt, since he obviously had been a celt before being turned. He was a dark and tall man, silent and strong type. And he had very preculiar eyes. I couldn't describe how, they just were.

So the dream begun as I realized my son had been taken by some other vampires and Celt offered his help in finding him. I was worried to death, not knowng why he was taken. He took me with him and we flew through the frisky cold autumn night, from the city towards the countryside, looking for something suspicious. He held my hand tight and I remember how the nightly breeze felt on my skin, and how the speed tossed my hair and clothes.

We came to a valley, that had several farms and countryhouses in it and slowed a bit down our speed. The Celt tugged my hand and asked me to look about the valley. I didn't know what he wanted me to see but I tried. Then he asked me to look with my other eyes, as if I was looking past things. Behind the usual. I did as I was asked to do and suddenly noticed that one of the houses was not onefloor building as it first had appeared to be. On the edge of my sight I could make out several more floors. I pointed the house out to him and he nodded, pleased to my success. He took the flight down and as we approached the house we saw a group of vampires coming out, heading towards the city. We waited a bit as they passed the road underneath us and Celt flew us behind a small backyard shed. We had only stood there for few seconds, as he halted me and pushed me to the ground. "Sst, someone is coming back." He said and signed me to stay quiet.
I laid on the ground and could smell very vividly the dead and wet leafes under me and the cold they sent through my body. I heard footsteps coming to us and in that moment a big spider crawled across my face and I made a small screaming noice, without my wanting so.
"Who's there?!" A angry and growling low voice shouted near us. The Celt didn't say anything but the other one seemed to have a clear idea where we were and came towards.
"What are you doing here?" The other asked from Celt as he saw him standing over me. He knew him, but at that point I didn't make much of it. I was too concerned of my own faith.
"I walk where I wish, young one." The Celt said with a steady and silent voice.
"Is that a HUMAN? I can smell her!" The young vampire almost lauched at me, but he was cut short as The Celt pushed his arm forward, stopping just a millimeter from the others chest. "You will not touch her, nor will anyone of your clan. She is under my protection." Their voices had brought the others back too, and I saw their glowing eyes in the dark as they muttered sourly to his claim.
"Take us in. I wish to speak with your Elder."
The young vampire regarded him with a snort but gave way to us and led us up to the house. The Celt had taken my hand again, pulling me gently from the ground. I was only shaking and gawked around me as the other vampires peered at me with hungry eyes.
We were lead inside the house and when the door behind us closed I had a very real image in my head that it was my coffin closing around me. I could feel the vampireblood burning inside stronger than ever, starting to revert my humanblood into something else. The Celt just held me as I started to shake and rattle and as we walked up the strais that weren't supposed to be there but were I experienced an unreal and mindshattering momentum. I saw the outside with my humaneyes that told me I was in nothing, since the magics they had casted to protect their lair still worked for my human side and then again I could see the almost transparent stairs under my moving feet and the walls that shone the outside world through a bit. I felt dizzy like in great heights and almost fell to my knees. Luckily Celt was holding me steadily and didn't lett go.

When we got to the floor that had been made into a big area, filled with tables, cosy couches and chairs, I dropped to the floor, shaking so hard I just couldn't get up. I laid there wounderable and bare, seeing things, fever eatinn away in me. The Celt left me there and sat tight to a corner near me. There was something reassuaring in his eyes and I stayed on the floor shivering. I could see the room had a big fireplace with a roaring fire in it, there were beautifull carpets placed across the wooden floor and artwork in every place I could turn my eyes to. The areas with seats in them had vampires in them too. All of them watched me with an intensity of a hunting cat and few laughed out at my terror and pain. Cause those feelings were now upon me like a fire. I felt the horrific burning in my veins and a crushing sensation in my chest. Something was clawing my flesh, so it felt and there was a lightning kind of a pain inside my head. I was twisting in the floor and so caught up in my own death, that the happenings almost slipped by me totally unnoticed.

Admist my death I saw hazy visions of a beautifull and fearfull woman coming down the stairs from some other floor and she walked so soothly, she could have been moving on ice. She closed in on me, barely noticing me, her frightfull eyes fixed on my protector, The Celt. He rose and went to meet her across the hall and they spoke with silenced voices for a while. Then he came back to his corner and sat down. I was very disoriented and confused about everything and just wathed through my torture as the woman now approached me. She was tall and lean, she had dark hair, staight and long. I t flowed upon her and down her shoulders and back like silk. Her face was thin and bared the elements of a highborn lady. But her eyes were as strange as my friends, though different. Her eyes were like a cats or fox's eyes. Yellow orange and they had black thin pupils in them. It looked vicious.

She leaned over me and said with a voice that was ancient and honeylike, "I can make this easier for you child.. If you are willing to get over your death sooner." Her voice poured and crawled over me, filling my pain with a silky edge that made all feel almost even more painfull. As she spoke, she unbuttoned her black blouse and bared her pearly white skin and small breasts. Her pale nipples were hard and she sliced a long blood-dripping wound across her neck down to her right breast that soon was stained with the flowing carmine blood. It seemed to flow and glow in colours I had never seen before.
I turned my gaze to the Celt, a question in my stare. I heard his voice only in my head, as clear as in reality. "This is your own judgement call, my friend, and I will not advice you in any way. You must do as you shall do."
I turned again to the Foxeyed Lady. Maybe a few seconds passed, and I even didn't think of anything. I just lett my nature do it's way as it woke in me. Suddenly I was on her, tearing the flesh of her neck with my still human teeth, ignoring the fresh wound she herself had done for me. She tried to struggle me off but couldn't, as I pinned her down to the ground and went on, pushing her arms away as easily as she would have been a mere babe. Somewhere in the back of my mind I heard her screaming and the others shouting and could sense the fight taking place around me like a hurricane. But I was caught in the eye of it, and could not turn myself away from the blood that poured from her to my fiercely sucking mouth. It was like drinking a nectar of gods or even something better. I just concentraded to exploring the things it roused in me as it rushed inside me.
I still sensed the battle around. The Celt was holding the other vampires from their Sire I was mutilating and draining, and one by one they fell, as they were not a match for The Celt. Not even the oldest and the strongest. Soon the whole room was a bloody gore all around and I was ripped violently against my will off the woman.
"Do not go down with her." The Celt held me as I tried to get back to my feeding for few moments. He held me tightly untill I was calm and then I noticed the horror in the room. All dead, all drained from blood that had stained everything in the room. I watched the woman I had killed. Her now small-looking body was in a uncomfortable position on the floor, shrinked and almost sorrowfull. I could smell the iron smell of blood in the hall but it did not terrify me. I felt no feeling that could have been registered as fear or appaul. Sudden knowledge burst through me like a strike of lightning. I turned in Celts arms to see his preculiour eyes and asked, "Was I a part of some old Vendetta here today?" There were several great realizations running through my mind.
"Would it matter to you, if I told you, you were?" He asked with a coy voice.
"No it would not." I said, even to my own surprise, in some corner of my mind.
"Then yes, you were. But as I see your thoughts in your eyes, you are aware that this was no ordinary thing that happened just now."
And it surely wasn't. The thought had came to my mind seconds earlier. I realized I had turned, born to darkness just moments ago, and it should have been impossible for me to take down a Elder vampire like that. It was strange, even macabre. But I had done it, without a question, and all on my own, that I saw from his eyes. I saw too that he had not planned this to go this way, he had not planned at all, but just trusted the right things to occur. He had seen something in me, that no else had seen.
We left the buildign shortly after, leaving it filled with carcasses and the magic had broken, and the house now was the 4 storied house it had been all along. We took flight once more through the dark marine sky and flew back to our safe haven to the city, where he took me in his arms and whre we made love the rest of the night and the next day.
(For the record - it was mindblowing! - ha ha)

Yes. And don't even ask where the disappearance of my son well, disappeared from the dream. It just did.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Sharing Dreams

Have seen dreams before, that very similar or the same at some point with some people in past. This time I shared a dream with JacklynTheRipper.

We saw at the same night this. We were at a rockfestival very similar to Provinssirock and we were just hanging around. In my dream we decided to go and get some food and J was supposed to follow me, when I searched for a place to eat. In J's dream she was going with me to someplace. Then in my dream I lost J and wondered where she disappeared. In J's dream she lost me and wondered whre I went. So, I'll continue from that on, what happened in my dream.

I did find a place to eat and ordered a hamburger despite my friends sneaky dismissal. I sat and waited for my order to come and Boy did it come! the burger was HUGE! And so was the cost.. I was charged 25 freakin' euros for a single burger! Well you can imagine my annoyance towards myself, as I didn't ask for the price.
I headed out to some campsite to get a perfect place to enjoy my costly meal.

I headed for a rigde that was near a stage or a picnicpark near a stage. I landed my ass on the dry grass and placed my bag and burger on my lap and watched for a moment to the other side of the ridge. There were masses of festivalpeople drinking and eating and dancing or just hanging in the flat area to my right. A small group of boys were next to me and before I had the chance to bite into my lushious burger, one of the boys added some ants on my right leg from a nearby antsnest I hand't noticed. (For the public record - I really do hate ants!!)

I screamed and tried to shake the pesky creatures of me and I fell to the leftside of the ridge doing so. On the bottom I noticed that my bag and that God damned burger were lost!! Imagine feral rage, now place it on me. I climbed up almost bursting with anger as I realized the ant thing was more than a ruse! those bastards had stolen my bag AND my Burger. Shit. So I started to shake people around with teeth grinding and screaming that had anyone seen where those boys had gone.
No one seemed too keen to answer so I shook them a bit more and they came up just with a hasty utterings, "Oh you don't wanna look for those boys.. they're bad news!"
I said that they had stolen my 25 euro burger and that I even didn't have the chance to taste it and there was going to be hell to pay for those lads, if I would find them. And I would. I added.
Some people pointed for a direction and I searched for a long time before I caught a climbse of them. Strange was, that everyone around seemed to know the boys and be terribly scared of them.

So I finally found them, regodnizing the Ass that had introduced me with those ants and I got to him and shook him violently from his shirt.
"Where's my BAG? And mY burger!?!I paid crazy money for it - 25 euros you FUCKING little whelp!!"
The boy seemed very surprised that I had found him, or about the fact that I was so forcefull with him. He claimed he didn't know where my stuff were and I shook him some more grinning like a madman doing so.
At this point I started to notice something. These boys didn't seem regular thieves at all and shortly I understood why everyone had warned me about them. I suddenly understood they were not human anymore, not complitely. Somekind of vampirefledlings perhaps. Yes, that was it. And Brujah for that matter! I saw one young man that had already turned and I lunged at him and caught him. I kinda climbed up him, clucthing my arms and legs around him like a spider and demanded for him to show me to their headquarters, to bring me to my belongings. He tried to shake me off but I was on him like a angry wasp and wasn't going to lett go no matter what. He was not happy to be putt down by a mere human but he didn't want to stay there with me as a nasty tumour around so he took me to their lair.

It was strangely very near, and it was a huge underground mansion of sorts. As we got in and he took me to his master I let go and started to wander around in awe, touching things and investigating their massive library filled with dusty tomes of vampire and Brujah clan history. I was muttering things to myself but I heard the boys and his masters discussion over that.
"WHAT is happening here?? Why in the Hells did you bring a HUMAN in HERE?!"
"She wouldn't lett go, and I couldn't get her off either, I tried, believe me, to no avail. I HAD to bring her here."
"Do my ears hear right? She's a bleeding human, thats what she is - and you say you couldn't get her off??"
"That's what I said, didn't I? One of the youngsters stole her stuff and she wants it back. There's something strange about her, all the other ones that have seen what we are have been terrified to death. She didn't even twinge. Look at her ( I was pointing a big statue of some old master and admiring it out loud) Crazy human."

The rest of the dream gets a bit hazy, but I stayed there, since the master wouldn't lett me go off with the knowledge of their sanctuary and I couldn't be brainwashed not to remember for some reason unknown. So I stayed and was made to a vampire for my great delight at some point. Though I didn't turn into a Brujah as they would have expected. I came out as a Malkavian instead - not a big surperise there, not for myself at least. They kept me around for some reason, even if I was different clan, perhaps because I went utterly mad at the moment I born to darkness. I was a rampaging insane, staring into walls and screaming incomprihensiable revelations. Then for like 3 or 4 months I just laughed insanely in the corner of the great library crouching and wouldn't go out. Even the master got tired with me and my bablings. He came to me one night and kneeled infront of me.
"You can't stay inside forever, you know. Go outside, it's night. It's safe."
"I can't (I utter in the midst of a crazy laughter).. the Sky.. the Sky.. it's gonna fall down .. DOWN I tell you.. right upon my head.. So I can't I can't!!!"
And I kept twisting my hands like in pain. Which I pretty sure was in. Mentally perhaps.

I got over that period in the dream and I was made usefull when I could move around again. The master sent me on a mission to wipe out another vampirehaven somewhere near. I was ordered to kill the leader and so I did. I didn't question the tasks he gave me, I was too caught up in my insanity.

That dreams goes on after that but gets too hazy to putt in words.

Crazy I tell you.

Nothing to say

I got nothing to say.